Home: a soft place to fall: AUTO-PILOT

Sunday, March 27, 2011

AUTO-PILOT

Sooo MUCH, I don’t put on here. SOOO MUCH, I hide and keep close in the safety and privacy of my home. I mean ..gosh I share A LOT…but some stuff is just not even close to things I want to talk about, write about or really think about. I am in that place right now and IT. SUCKS. Sorry about the unanswered e.mails, posts, face book messages, I have read them, prayed for you thought about what you had to say…had great responses and then have been too numb to answer….many of you know this place…it is called AUTO PILOT…and I will be in it for as long as it takes to get to a better place. I have not slept in five straight days..not. a. wink.

• So,I have been a lil' MIA, and not blogging as much...this week will be a crucial one for me, and my family. Faiths Mama gets out of Prison on Friday. My oldest is in respite and will be for another two weeks...out of six kids that can talk, four don't want her back at all. I feel like I am letting go or loseing two of my children for very differant reasons at once. Not sleeping much these days...went away for the weekend with my family....leaving for the Parenting in Space Conference on Friday...~~I am running away, and letting my hubbie face Faiths Birth Mom alone...I can't do it, hand the baby back...I have had her since she was three hours old!!!~~ I need new tools, face to face Trauma- Mama’s that are doing this and now is a good time...see I am not as tough as you all thought I am..I am a BIG GIANT wimp….and I need your prayers.
So until further notice….AUTO PILOT will have to do.

7 comments:

One Crowded HouseMarch 27, 2011 at 5:27 PM
praying for the decisions you will be making and praying that your time away gives you just the right tools you need to work with where your kids are at....
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Trauma MamaMarch 27, 2011 at 5:48 PM
Sending up prayers for you. I get auto-pilot since I am there now.

Enjoy the conference and your recharge time.
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DianaMarch 27, 2011 at 9:49 PM
Hugs to you, sweet lady. My prayers are with you. Sometimes all we can do is just keep swimming (and swimming and swimming).
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MissDMarch 28, 2011 at 10:40 AM
Oh Lindsay, my heart is with you. I am praying for you.
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deannahikMarch 28, 2011 at 1:08 PM
Linds...my heart is sad for you:( Your doing all you can and the best you can right now. The stress, sadness and loss you must feel handing over Mia...I can't imagine. I'm glad you get to get away for a short time, to take a breath/hide/cry. Thinking about you and sending you a big squeeze :)xoxo
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CCMarch 30, 2011 at 10:35 PM
(((hugs))) and aching hearts right along with you.
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ErickaApril 4, 2011 at 8:43 AM
Oh Lindsay, I'm so sorry.
Hugs girlfriend.
I wish I knew you were coming in for Parenting in Space, we live 15 mins from the Arboretum.
Trauma Sucks. Sucks.
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SO here's the thing....

I stink at blogging, no really I do...by the way I am dyslexic and can NOT spell worth a darn, but I write anyway.

I have the best of intentions...but life happens.

I am parenting NINE amazing kiddo's.
One that is no longer safe enough to be in my home...and I mourn that, every day.
This blog is about being flawed but doing the best you can do. It is about parenting some Fabulous kiddo's with some heartbreaking problems. We are just a family.
A family living, laughing, crying and shaking it up as much as we can to ward off the effects of severe trauma, anxiety, depression, psychotic tendencies, suicidal ideation, addictions, bulimia, anorexia, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder,Hording, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they and we are surviving by the skin of their teeth, everyday, but we are NOT giving up.
This blog is about surviving daily life with a child with type one diabetes... I am just a Mom, dedicated to MY children, dedicated to being a Forever Family, and giving some of these kids whom have never had a safe anything, a HOME: a soft place to fall.

Who this is Really for!

Sooo if you have found us and just started reading... I am protecting my kids names out of respect. Lets be honest, if I am going to talk about their behaviors...they don't need their names out there...because it is the BEHAVIORS that are hard, it is the anger and destruction of the trauma that they experienced that needs to be named, my children are deep down good, with a whole lot of broken/nasty/ugly tossed over to disguise what is so wonderful about them. I have six with trauma disorders. That is what is SO gosh darn HARD... they see it and are triggered some-days, by just looking into each others eyes. MY AMAZING and sometimes ANGRY ELVES: We have 2 bio kiddo's: