I learned a trunk-load of awesomeness at The parenting in SPACE conference, a economy bus TRUNK LOAD, am I going to be able to apply everything,” I WISH, I HOPE, I WILL TRY, and I will fail, and I will TRY again”, cause that is the name of the dance called therapeutic parenting ….just in case you didn’t know.
It is the “,” I WISH, I HOPE, I WILL TRY, and I will fail, and I will TRY again”, dance we do every day.
HOUSE CALLS COUNSELING, is full of how Mary put it, EVIL GENIUSES, they were amazing, the way they put together such an incredible, safe, informative, enjoyable, affirming, validating utopia for therapeutic parents I NEVER will know…but I will go again, in hopes that I can return to my parenting Disneyland again.
It was only a week ago, and as they wrapped up the last session, NO ONE wanted to leave, no, one wanted to break the bond, the attachment we had created together, by trusting ,talking, sharing deep hard stuff, holding each other up, and being carried, parents, and therapists a like. I cried, I couldn’t help it, as I sat down , like a stubborn child, I DID NOT want to go home, I peeked over at Christine and could see the same tears…we did not want the magic to stop. Because that is what this conference was for me and so many parents, pure magic….
As a double theater/child development major in College (Its that NOT THE PERFECT double major for a future therapeutic parent, oh the preparation), I was STOKED that they were beginning the Conference with an Improve group “YEAH this is going to be FUN” (clapping hands like an excited lil’ kid)…and it was, but WAY more importantly, and what I would have not processed in a million years was the foundation of trust, playfulness, safety, and familiarity it would create for me and the other parents. The brilliance of beginning with those Improve exercises was HUGE. Therapeutic Parents are so often alienated from other Parents on the playground of life, the triangulations that occur between us and the other adults in our children’s and our live , are enough to break our sense of safety with other adults, our fear of being judged or misunderstood puts us at such risks of trusting relationships, just like our kids do.
So we walked around, said “Hello”, “What’s up”, Reached out and Touched each other, had full eye contact, we played, made up story’s, played imaginary tug-of-war…we trusted each other to support and remember our words, we cheered each other on, and THAT was only in the first two hours of the Conference…see MAGIC.
I had an extra gift at the Conference. As a past adoption coordinator for Haitian Adoption, I have babies all over Canada and the U.S. that I love, sooo deeply, even years later I know them ,I can pick them out of a crowd. I was a short time witness to their stories, their first steps and words,a small part of watching the making of their forever families.
One of my babies, (well really not mine cause his Mama gets to call him that)…was there, across the room, I saw a BEAUTIFUL little boy across the room and I thought, “THAT LIL’ GUY LOOKS EXACTLY TO THE NOSE OF WHAT “SMILEY’(a little baby boy I brought home from the Earthquake and placed in his Mama’s arms, almost year ago) WILL LOOK LIKE WHEN HE GROWS UP”….and then I saw “his” Mama, and it WAS, his Mama, it WAS….and then the tears came, because it WAS “Smiley”, it was this beautiful little boy that I had loved, videoed his first steps for his Mama, handed him to his mother on their first meeting and brought him to her for their forever. …
(cause now I am crying like a Giant Booby pants, and Baby Faith , woke up…I gots to wrap er up)
And that is Part ONE….of the first TWO hours of the Conference ya’ll are comin' to next year…Don’t I sound like a bossy pants!!! :0)