Monday, November 14, 2011

The Miracles found in the Moments of HEALING…

A couple of days ago, I posted this little tidbit on my Facebook page:

“Sweet Moment with Cookie today....
I have a habit, whenever I see someone standing outside with a sign as I go into a grocery store...I always buy an extra bag of bread and jar of peanut butter....That way on my drive out of the parking lot, I can slow down and give this person, whomever they may, that may last a day, or two...many will say, giving homeless or needy people cash, "they will just buy drugs or alcohol", maybe, but they are also HUNGRY, soo many of our nations homeless people in this country are suffering from being mentally ill, and there are no today when I slowed down and handed the food out my window...the van got very quiet.
Cookie had a tear trickling down his cheek....I asked him "what he was feeling", and he(this sweet little boy who knows what true hunger is) said...."Mama, he was cold and hungry, and you gave him something to eat and even if his coat is dirty we still can be friends, and if we all do that for everybody's, than not everybody's gonna be hungry and sad no more."
Amen Baby Boy.”

You see that was only part of the story. As many people were kind and commented on my parenting, my heart, I was not fishing for those compliments. This is just something I do and have ALAWAYS done, as it was taught to me as a small child. FEED Hungry people, I guess I just took it for something that I did…my reason for posting it was my complete JOY, and how very VERY touched I was by Cookies reaction.
You see, Cookie has MASSIVE food issues. He always has. He was known in his Orphnage for wailing for hours until they fed him. Feelings and Food go hand in hand with my little guy. When he first came home Early Spring of 2010, we didn’t go out much. Food would magically appear in the house after he went to bed (thank GOODNESS Walwart was open 24 hours that first year).

The second or third time he had gone to the great Mecca of food (the grocery)….I had bought bread and peanut butter like I always do. And much like I always do, I handed the food out of my car window to a lonely girl holding up a sign, with a little dog, they both looked worse for ware. As she said “God Bless”, I replied “Right back to you Sweetheart”…when a slow steady wail began out of my backseat. I drove a little ways and pulled over, thinking Cookies was hurt, nope, he was dead panicked that I had given food away. POTENTIALLY HIS FOOD..and that was NOT O.K….


This was Cookie, at Two Years old, eating in his crib, in Haiti. How OFTEN I FORGET, WHERE and HOW, and what survival lengths, emotionally and physically my children had to take to make it home to me....

It has been almost 21 months since the kids came home. For months I would have to have identical bags ….so he could hold onto one bag with the P.B. and Bread while I handed one off. Secure in him knowing his bag was still his…After months and months probably 60 shopping trips…as we drove into the parking lot that day, my Sweet little man noticed the man holding the sign and said, “Boy he looks Hungry Mama, we should remember the Peanut butter and Bread.”
So. We. Did.

As I loaded the cart, I waited for him to remind me to get him his bag too…but he didn’t…he was too excited for the hand off. Too excited to fill someone else’s need beside his own. My little boy began in Hungry, Lonely, and very Needy place, survival the only thing that mattered. His hair was orange, I never thought we would be able to get the brown stains of malnutrition and fever from his teeth, nor the constant anxiety and fear about food that were like stones around his heart…
That sweet moment captured so very many things for me.

The foundation we have slowly, painfully, patiently been building. I so often forget and lose hope that anything is getting through and reaching my children from tough places.
....and then they so very generously, reach out and touch and teach and remind me…what love, basic, human love and kindness…can do.

...."Mama, he was cold and hungry, and you gave him something to eat and even if his coat is dirty we still can be friends, and if we all do that for everybody's, than not everybody's gonna be hungry and sad no more."


  1. That just brings tears to my eyes. That is huge. I like that tradition, too. I've kept a bag of canned goods and stuff like ramen noodles in the back for these situations, but the bread and peanut butter makes more sense because someone who had no place to go could eat it.

    In therapy last week, I heard for the first time the details of the day Anastasia was taken from her mother - it was WHILE she and her mother were going through the trash for food. I shiver to think of it. I look forward to the day when giving something to someone else isn't a trigger for her. Annie

  2. Food is a huge thing for a couple of my kids too- I get extra excited when they want to share candy they get from school with their siblings! It has taken a while to get to that point.

    Love that Cookie's heart noticed someone else... so sweet.

  3. That's a great lesson! Unfortunately, the last three times I have been to the grocery store, folks begging outside REJECTED my offers of food. They only wanted cash (as to buy their drugs). So sad.

  4. Amazing <3 thank you for sharing

    PS 2nd paragraph you used his real name