“Hey I’m making friggn’ Lemonade here people!”

So things over here are.not. easy.
and THAT is the understatement of the century.

Some of the things that across the board I have heard when struggling with attachment disorders  is the crap-tastic way holidays and birthday affect our children.
Shame, jealousy, anxiety...with a heaping side of Birthday cake.
Toss in a lil' sabotage, control, destruction, tantrums…yep, it’s a regular party.

In-between Papillion’s birthday. The traumaversary of her leaving our home, Fathers Day, and today, Bug-Bugs birthday..it has been “wicked awesome Yo”.

Mostly wicked.

Bugs birthday last year, ended in Papillions ride to the E.R…so ya know, really trying to squash that memory.
Things we are learning to do different.

The ‘fun’ things that everyone can enjoy, like special meals, we continue to implement.
If an activity is being sabotaged, a sitter or parent will be available to remove said kiddo so revelry is not interrupted, in extreme cases, just the celebrated child will go. I tend to protect special days like a swat team member. Bugs in lieu of gifts is having me take her to a local water park on Saturday, and we went shopping for a new swim suit yesterday.

It has been said "the best gift we can give our children is time", and lets bump that up a notch, the BEST gift we can give out children is time away from crazy,and letting them feel special.

When we give individual gifts on birthdays or "special days" our family, for the time being, we have everyone one, by one, bring the gift in and have a separate gift giving experience with their siblings, or parent. Without the other gifts being exposed or shown off to everyone. This making the gift giving being what it should be about, the giver and the receiver, and those that do not want to participate, don't have to. There have been some very special moments because of this new tradition.

Implementing this seems to limit excessive anxiety, resentment and anger that someone else is having a special day. As well as prevents inventory being taken of gifts, and plans being made of destruction or disappearing acts.

  Which is a VERY common thing 'round here.

Today, because big feelings are flying around here like a hive of freaking tracker-jackers we danced all.day.long. Moving in and out of behaviors instead of feeding them.

This morning when I realized a hand wash only shirt that had been washed and was hanging to dry had a new lovely little (massive) yellow stain (that aint no Lemonade) I called Cookie in and asked him to wash it, “I didn’t pee on your favorite shirt!!!!”

“Not saying you did sweetheart, but gosh I could use some help and since we are re-filling up the Laundry sink, lets add 11 other things that ‘can’ be hand washed and dried.”

Wha-lah, double clean shirt, bra’s, leotards, swim suits…and mommy didn’t loose her $#*@,

Lemonade.

My favy-fav today, the windows that were spit on in a rage of , whom got the most peanut-butter syrup….

Yup, you guessed it, just so all the windows matched …all the windows in the back got washed….

Lemonade.

I found a new bottle of Pomegranate body wash, opened and dumped in my bath tub. There stood dude, with a 200-watt grin, “I did that.”

Punk .

Instead of losing it, yelling and sending him to his room, I squealed “EXCELLENT IDEA! Mommy did need a bubble bath, lets get my favorite oils and add them in too! Want to join me in my tub?”

A very grumpy little boy answered “NO STUPID HEAD.”

So he took a nap, and I tucked him in lovingly…and then I took a luxurious bath.

Wha-lah Friggn’ Lemonade !

Sometimes I get sick of Lemonade, but the thing is…keeping that glass half full of something, is better than nothing….right?!?

Right?!?