The Apple. The Tree's and HATE....

I have stayed away from reading the updates, and articles over the Trayvon Martin murder.

NOT because I don’t want to be educated.

NOT because I don’t want to be supportive, and or outraged at the complete injustice….

Simply because it scares me, and breaks my heart.

As a Mother to four beautiful, crazy, independent boys, two of which have light skin, two of which have dark skin. WHY? Why in this day and age do I have to teach my boys separately the reality of dangers in driving at night? Making hands visible on wheels, speaking overly respectful to cops. Why do my children being raised in my home, with the same values and beliefs have separate stereo-types to face once they walk out of my door.
WHY?

It.is.wrong.
It.is.reality.

In 2010, after my children came home from Haiti. My mom came for a visit and stayed at a hotel, with a pool. She invited all of her grandbabies up for a swim.
Lets be honest, my 11 member family, and my brothers 5 member family, kinda commandeered the whole pool.

My kids camped out on the stairs as I and my husband took routine turns bringing them out into deeper water.

A family walked in. Mother, Father, two children. I smiled, really friendly, and as they directed their children into the hot tub…I realized my kids were taking up all of the stairs.

                         

I smiled at the Mom and said “I am so sorry, I can have all these munchkins scoot to one side of the railing, we don’t need to hog up the stairs.”

That is when she gave me the disgusted look, and glared at my children.
“That really isn’t the problem”. As she pointed her chin in my children’s direction.

My first reaction (come on I went to high school in Philly)…

(imagine the neck roll and sway)
“OH NO she Di’ Int!”

As a mature mother of 9…I weakly looked at her with hurt eyes. Swallowed that lump of hurt in my throat, and tried to have fun with my children without making eye contact.

Part of my heart ached so deeply, my brain screamed “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.”
and then I looked at her two young children a boy and a girl …only sticking their toes in the too-hot water, and I saw the true injustice…that hate, that ignorance being spoon fed to those two beautiful children.

After another 30 minutes I pushed through, for the sake of whatever I thought I needed to prove…my kids were sufficiently raison-ed.   We toweled off and I begun the process of taking first the girls and then the boys into the bathroom to dry off and slip into pajama’s.

As I walked back into the pool area, to retrieve another batch of short people. An older woman with a disgusted face (whom I perceived as the Grandmother to the other children) Glared at me and said “Oh no your NOT bringing those children in here!”

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?” is what I screamed in my head.

Again the mature woman in me (sometimes I hate her) simply calmly said:
“Nope we are done here…just got the party started!”

I think back and sometimes wish I would have had some snarky remark about “be careful my brown kids probably peed in the pool!” But that would not have been effective, christian, or made any point other than reiterating ugliness.

So instead, I ushered my kids out, buying Ice Cream cones on the way home.
Secretly thanked the Heavens they had not noticed the injustice that was being paid in their direction…and uttered a silent prayer for that little boy and girl (the poor little apples needing to fall FAR, far away from the dark shadow of their Tree's) hoping they will overcome odds they will have to face being raised in Hate, Ignorance and Intolerance.

A gun didn’t kill Trayvon Martin, hate did.