Crack and SPLAT or " Don't talk to your kids, and tell them that they shouldn't go and do bad things...."

“Don't talk to your kids, and tell them that they shouldn't go and do bad things...”

What?
So are you saying I shouldn't talk to my kids?

NO.

Are you saying I shouldn't tell them they can't or shouldn't do bad things?

NO.

What?

RIGHT.

So here’s the thing. Majority of kids suffering from Early Childhood Trauma have the bonus of some kind of Sensory, Auditory, Second Language, Attention Deficit, Anger Management, “Thingy”.

How often is your anger or frustration at your child, focused simply on “He KNOWS better”, he HEARD what I said and WENT AHEAD and DID IT anyway.”

Have you ever wondered if there is a lapse?
A lapse in what you thought you said.
And how they heard it, interpreted it, understood it?

I know, I know, wait...give me a minute before you shut your screen, click off this blog, and start to argue with me as if I am in your living-room.

For the record, If you are a fed up, unheard, misunderstood parent, I am on YOUR SIDE.
YOU are probably completely justified in wanting me to SHUT THE EFF UP, I have NO clue how frustrating it is, your kid does bad stuff on purpose...

I am just asking; 

"Are we sometimes in our language to our kids setting them up to fail?"
Maybe I am the only one that screws this up all of the time?

BUT if you, like me, perhaps, maybe, are capable of such sentences:

“Don't go to school, and be naughty and cause problems for the teachers.”

or

“You are not allowed to be in the Grocery Store and steal candy-bars.”
or

“If you go out side, you will be in HUGE trouble if you fight or are mean to anyone.”
Then maybe, you can hear me out for a lil second?


The English Language is CONFUSING.
If you really read the sentences above what am I telling my kid not to do?

Don't go to school? But wait they are?
Not allowed in the Grocery store? We are standing here looking at the Peanut butter.
If I go outside? You shooed me out here?

O.K. So the first thing you told me NOT to do I evidently “am good to do”....but not the second thing?

Wait, huh?

Is it possible, us, exhausted, hovering, “see the train wreck coming from miles away”; are far too used to speaking to our children in double negatives?

Now, math genius that I am NOT,but I even know two negatives multiplied makes a positive?

BUT THEY KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING.

Probably.
I mean maybe.
Right, most likely they do...

Yet studies show kids, specifiably toddlers are compelled to hold onto and remember the last 4 to five words of a command. ( how often do we HAVE TO explain to our kids LIKE they are toddlers?)
Which is why we as parents are told to keep commands short and exact.
What if the tail end of what we are telling then “NOT to do” is what cycles in the recesses of their brains?

Then what is on repeat is:

“Cause problems for the teachers, cause problems for the teachers...”

“Steal candy bars, steal candy bars, STEAL CANDY BARS.”

“Fight or are mean to anyone, fight or are mean to anyone.”

well crap.
I mean I can admit, I for one often enough times, as an adult trip myself up while juggling eggs across my kitchen...”do not drop the eggs, do NOT DROP THE EGGS...and 9 times out of ten, do you know what happens.

CRACK and SPLAT.

We all have read the crap on the “Power of Positive thinking”, blaughigity BLAUGH....

But maybe there is some truth in the practice?
Some of us see those darling reminders on Facebook, saying; 

“The way we speak to our children, becomes their inner voice”.

…...and “some of us” may want to throat punch the sappy clueless dope that posted it...because you are cringing that five minutes ago your kids inner voice may have been a harpy like shrieking and a shrew-fest freak out that went down, on your whining , lying 9 year old, before you escaped with your nose into Facebook.
Yeah, I would know NOTHING about that.

Still I am being mindful, today. Probably not tomorrow, since tomorrow is Wednesday...
I am actively working on not “not setting my kid up”. See again, double negative...but stating what I hope for them, what they CAN repeat in a healthy pattern in their heads as they head out.

“Hey you, Be kind to your teachers today.”

“Sweetness in the grocery store lets work on keeping our hands to our-self.”

“Go on outside and HAVE FUN with everyone use loving and happy words.”

Wow, I kinda said the same thing.
I might be wrong, this post may be total crap and not helpful at all.

Don't use it, don't listen to what I might be trying to say.

But you know, you could give it a try.
Give it a try.