Wednesday, August 15, 2012


All.of.the.time. I hear:
“I  just don't know how you “DO IT”.

What 'they' don't realize that they are talking/asking about are my passions:
Parenting 9 children
6 children with severe physical, emotional, behavioral special needs
Eating and Cooking Healthy
Regular Exercise
Doula Work
Service in my Community and Church
Baking/ Catering for Special events
Foster parenting
Jewelry making
Living with a Chronic Illness
Moonlight as a photographer
Be Positive when things are hard
Talking/blogging Openly about Mental illness or my kids challenges
Decorating, re-purposing and Painting things all. of. the. time.
Gardening and sharing
Recipe and Food Blogging
Traveling at any chance I get
Hula Hooping/Gratitude/Meditation and Prayer Practice daily
Working for a Non-Profit in Haiti as a Sponsorship Coordinator for Sionfonds.

Let's be clear, some days I don't. I stop.I stay in bed, let my husband take away, online shop, nap and use other things to not “do” some of the harder things in my life....I take breaks, lounge on facebook, watch crappy television and eat Doritos. Throw pity parties when I am sick, or my children or someone else has hurt me, pout and emotionally shop, get snarky and complain,whine , I overeat, rant and rave when things don't go my way...I am so very extraordinarily human.

But I also will admit, I do “do” a lot of things....

My husband just recently took up Skateboarding. I could say “again” because sometime in his teens, he did “skate” (so he tells me) and was “totally good” in his youth...but lets be honest two teenage life times lay between him and that “totally awesome “skater dude”he once was.
Though I tease him, and openly threaten if he breaks anything, he won't get any pity from me...silently I am cheering him on, finding time in the day that he can sneak away. I love the idea of my button up, mid thirties, daddy to nine therapist hubbie,is hangin' at the Skate park, and not being thwarted by the teens and others craning their necks at the sight of him landing on his hind parts over and over again. He Rocks my Socks.
Be still my inner teenage girl heart.
I married a Rock star skater boy. Avril Lavigne would be so proud.

At night after a long day, after he has helped people with their problems, anxieties and addictions....oh and he does that at work too folks, he picks up his guitar and chats with me between cords. Sometimes I am hooping, sometimes my patience wanes and I scream like a banshee call sweetly that I could use some help with something/children/dishes/a live polar bear.....but deep down, I love it. I love the things that keep him going. Whether it be, his Faith, Music, Job, Family, Me and even Skateboarding...I love his Passions.

I think along the way we let those go.
I get it, my cow! There are things like bills, mortgages...Dr. Appointments....but if you are waiting to pick something up again....or maybe learn how to play that piano at 45...right now could be the exact time to do it. Seriously.

The other day my friend Cathy posted this on her Facebook wall.
It made me stop, think, and smile. Story of my life sister.

I think often I am judged for having too full of a plate. This is not new. I remember once as a kid I went to a buffet with my grandpa laughed at my overly full plate saying “kid, don't you know you can go back as many times as you want” answer was “Yes, but I'm afraid I won't remember that I thought it looked good the first time, and what if I am too full, or don't have time...” I wanted to experience everything "now" and somehow had found room on my plate for it.

Life is so wonderful, chalk full of opportunities, things to do, go out an learn and experience. Just because it is hard, weighing, exhausting, heartbreaking and unfair too, does not give us reason to give up on our should make us seek them more, and in so doing find a little respite from the pitfalls and or land mines that find all of us.

I have a lot of HARD. I will be the first to pitfalls and roadblocks are sometimes mountains and canyons that look and feel impossible. Maybe that too is my excuse for my excessive need for Passions.

I am passionate about my relationship with God, my family, all of my earthly brothers and sisters,
what my purpose, my journey, my life lessons are and how I can help manifest them.
I am passionate about healing, physical and emotional growth for myself and everyone.
I passionate about growing and cooking healthy, fun, delicious food and sharing it.
I am passionate about Orphans and Haiti, passionate about my fellow Earthly brothers and sisters receiving education, food and medical care.
I am passionate about my children, each and everyone, and what their loves and likes, fears and the passions that too will drive them.
I am passionate about the miracle of life and helping women bring beautiful babies into the world, witnessing that promise of creation that reminds me life and everything after that is a gift
I am passionate about women in general,knowing their infinate worth and helping them know they are not alone in parenting, hard relationships,past or present abuse that their beauty and presence is vital and a gift.
I am passionate about living a true life, of honesty, living my religion, health, compassion, service and acceptance.
I am passionate about art, color, learning, beauty,movement and my need to be apart of it.

I am told there is a time and a season for things...YES. Yes there are. There are things still with my family's healing that are not possibilities right now...but I like to concentrate on not what is “Not Possible” right now...but on“What insane thing I have been itching to do can I fit in here", what worry, stressful thing, grudge, or roadblock that even I have created can I move over and put this passion right in it's place.
Life is short, it also is long and hard and needs joy and purpose even in the barracks of war, pain and loss. My Passion's have come to me, some with me from the moment I began, some as I have evolved and surrounded myself with more, more of everything, and not being afraid when the answer was 'yes' and even less ashamed when it was 'No'.

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday ( I am told I am a young'un) ...but man have my 33 big ones been chalk full. As I lay in bed with my hot-therapisty-rockstar-skater-dude-baby-daddy, he asked me,"How do you feel about  33 is it good for you?" And with honest tears in my eyes, feeling nauseous from bad sushi and worn out from a day of therapeutically kicking parenting ass...I answered “I love it, I love it all, there is not a thing I would wish different about me and our life. I love being me,It is monstrously hard some days, but I don't wish any of it away, I love what I get to do, and am so very excited to see what is going to happen next."
I am passionate about my life.
That does not make it easy, give me more sleep, or make things fair.
But it does make it all so very worth it...

What are you passionate about?
What have you been waiting on?
Is it time?
What can you move over, or simply say good bye to, to make that room?
 .......Go, go be passionate.....


  1. You.are.lovely.
    and an

  2. I'm told the same thing - How do you do it? I always feel kind-of ashamed, like I'm getting credit for something without deserving it - because I LOVE IT ALL! And, I think that is one reason I love you - we have that passion in common. Life is GREAT! I'm old enough to be your mom, but I'm looking forward to welcoming this new baby into our home. I can't understand why people try to offer CONDOLENCES - forget that! What an amazing blessing! What fun! Everything is fun! There is almost nothing in life - including cleaning the bathroom - that I don't enjoy. I might not enjoy the CLEANING, per se, but even as you clean, you can enjoy the results! That's great! Immediate gratification!

    And while I hurt for my damaged children, I have to say I actually ENJOY being their mom....yes; there are hard parts, but there is always hope for healing. There's always a challenge....

    But, I think we need to thank God that we are the way we are. As I see one of my children struggle with depression, I realize that buoyant hope and happiness is an immeasurable gift.

  3. You are amazing for sure and I totally hear you on the hard parts.

  4. I loved this. What is life, if not lived passionately? And these beautiful children are so worth the effort. We have been blessed with a 2nd placement in less than a year, we now have three, two under 1 year. Some say we're "crazy" too. Really, I think it's just that we're greedy for love. The more we have, the more love just radiates in our home. And the tough times just make us more grateful for what we do have.

  5. I will need to read this again and again. Thank you for the virtual ass-kicking. I love you!

  6. My name is Jenna. Your kids are a brave courageous fighter, Your kids are a special miracle from god, a gift from above, earthly angel, a smilen hero.

    I was born with a rare life threatening disease, and have 14 other medical conditions, and developmental delays.

    I wrote this poem

    Each of us are Special

    Each of us different,

    No one is the same

    Each of are us are unique in our own way,

    Those of us who have challenges, we smile through our day.

    Those who of us who have challenges, we smile through our day.

    It doesn't matter what others say

    we are special anyway.

    What is forty feet and sings? the school chior http/