Thursday, December 15, 2011

"Yay me!"

 To avoid “The Great Blog Jinx” of spilling the “good news beans” and then it all turn to a Crapola-Casserole, I have waited to share the “Yay Me” poohba.

The newest tool in Chatters tool box. My husband aka “Counselor Bob” whom is a therapist …has in fact been using this little gem he picked up from me for a couple of months now with clients, and guess what? It is working . He is getting feedback from other parents.
That.Makes.Me Smile…and want some founders fees…or at least a night out with the girls.
Hey I am all about equal opportunity over here.

So are you ready? Cause it is short…you might miss it…

Chatter goes on “anger hunts”….she constantly is actively looking for reasons to be mad. Almost like she needs to constantly justify how CRAPPY she feels all of the time on something, anything to be hands down pissed off about.

In one day:
  • She could be MAD that I woke someone else up first.
  •  She could be MAD that I asked her to eat before getting dressed.
  • She could be MAD that her bowl was green and not pink.
  • She could be MAD that her sister ‘might’ have gotten more milk in her cereal.
  • She could be MAD that her favorite dress is in the wash and she has to wear something else.

That was the first 20 minutes of everyday, and second by second, minute  by every-lovin’ minute this girl WAS MAD.

There were days I would want to roll my eyes…”You have GOT to be kidding me KID, freak-n-A…get OVER yourself friend!"

Then I realized, she had no idea, HOW to look for good. The kid has NO skills in the Gratitude and Happiness department. Nada.

So one day when we were in a giant pitty party over chicken nuggets…I joked , “well at least they aren’t POOP NUGGETS, cause then you would be all “YAY ME, I don’t have the biggest POOP NUGGETS TO EAT, Scooby does.”
Note: she is eight....poop is hilarious.
She cracked a smile,and I took that as lee-way for more…so I had her yell:
“YAY ME , I didn’t eat POOP NUGGETS.”

Then we started to break down the MAD moments…and finding real, or silly “yay me” moments.
MAD: Peanut-butter is having a play date…and I am NOT.
YAY ME: “I can ask Mom to play a puzzle with me and we will still have fun, YAY ME.”
MAD: I wanted to have the chocolate Doughnut, dude got first.
YAY ME:  I still get to have a doughnut and they are yummy, YAY ME.”

I could give you thousands of daily “yay me” moments…but what is the fun in that… chica go find your own.

We all cognitively need to learn better ways to process our thought patterns, our kiddo’s from rough places never learned how, they just know how to react.

We first started with verbally doing “yay me’s” .
We would then clap for ourselves…
Like I literally say “give yourself a clap”, and they do.
Then we kiss our brains…smooching our hands and planting em on our noggins…try kissing your own brain, it’s fantastic.

Now I can suggest a “brain” or “Quiet yay me”…and she will smile and say “I did it.”
This simple cognitive model has helped her so very much in the processing of constant negativity, into finding good things in small moments.

I am so very, very proud of her.
“Yay me.”


  1. You are so brilliant! I think we really do need to organize a trauma mamas outing after the holidays. Let's do it!

  2. My kids seem to think anything having to do with poop or gas is hilarious.

    I have inserted that word into high tension situations just to throw them off. :)

    I am going to have to work harder on this with Meseret. She can have herself a pity party at the drop of a hat. She is getting better- it's just hard for her to understand why older siblings get to do things she doesn't.

  3. Love it, and this VERY MOMENT I'm calling Maxim back to use it on him. Up to the minute counseling help from.....the most brilliant Lindsay!


  4. Thank you! Our seven and four year olds have the same anger-seeking tendencies. Definitely going to try this. :-)

  5. I just stumbled across your blog, and I'm just sure I'll be back. :)

  6. I love this idea! I'm going to put it on a post-it and slap it on my microwave, so the next time Syla has a pity party, I can help him with the YAY ME moments instead!


  7. This is ingenious!
    As I was reading I had the thought to have her write down her Yay Me minute????? Then it's documented and she can re-read them to see just how awesome she is???
    Thinking I may need to do your idea with my sarcastic, emo teenagers :)

  8. I have never, ever made it to your blog...and today was THE day to do it! First of all, LOVE the brood! And to think I am over here crying with five (none adopted btw, just a little PTSD and hormones and then another...uh, who knows what...)Speaking of....Ohmygosh! How much I needed this! I have a guy that gets mad about everything too! It. drives. me. INSANE!

  9. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! And OUCH! I think you have just sparked a new connection in my own brain. IIIIII need to do this for myself as well as my children and now it is on the agenda for today. - Shannon

  10. Just wanted to say thank you for sharing this!! I have been using this little tool for the past month now...and it is awesome!! So many meltdowns have been avoided. THANKS!!!

  11. Thank you so much for sharing this! We are about the start the process of adoption from foster care (domestic) after adopting an infant in October of last year. You give me hope! This post brought tears to my eyes, I hope and pray that I will be able to be this resourceful with mine!

  12. Found your blog today- excellent and can relate on so many levels. This is going on my fridge. Yay Me!