Friday update of the "Purge"

I would share more pictures...but, let me just say...you don't want to know! I am successfully getting rid of one third of most rooms!
The linen closet, check. The laundry room, check. Peanut butter and Cookies room and clothes, check. ALL of the shoes (imagine around 300 pairs), check, coats and jackets, check. Papilions room, check.
Kitchen office, cupboards and School cupboards, check.

So I still have mine and hubbies room to go.
Diva and Chatters room and clothes.
Dude and Scoobs room and clothes.
The kitchen, Play room.
The storage room (Uggg) is half way there.

I have to say it is AMAZEING the time you save, not shuffling through the junk you don't need clouding up finding the stuff you are looking for WOWZA's!
TOOO MUCH SHTUFF!!!!

SPRING CLEANING vs. Give up and just light a match

Soooo I may or may have have totally lost it on my family had some inspiration last night and started unloading closets, drawers in a frenzy, completely organized rational way, and started my mid life crisis, spring cleaning.

Dear old "Before the Invasion" House,
I remember you; I can barley see the skeleton of the well organized, clean, a place for everything, and everything a place house, you once were. Like so many things I didn't appreciate you then. I thought nicer carpet and leather couches would make me like you better, but alas, I miss those days. Now I would settle for not having marks and holes in your lovely walls. Minus the petrified boogers on the walls the paint color is quite pretty. No bleached stains on the carpet, where a well meaning child has meant well by trying to clean up their own pee. Doors with hinges that work are days of the past...and yet I just have to say "Thank you", thank you for taking all of the abuse my family has to offer. Thank you for giving my kiddo's security, a warm place to sleep and some pretty incredible memories.
I have learned a house is not just four walls, it is a place I may never escape from HOME where my children, can grow, learn to love and heal in.

Love Always,
Linds

SO THE GOAL:
We doubled our home by half the people last year...with that came many donations, extra clothes, shoes and toys. We. are. drowning. in. crap.
So I am pledging HALF, O.K. more like 1/3 of the STUFF and THINGS in my home, (that just add to the stress and to-do's I could be giving time to my family instead)...IT is OUT OF HERE. I mean it, I am getting rid if half of our clothes, half of our toys, the kitchen utensils I don't use, so I can find the ones that I do....IT. IS. TIME.TO.SIMPILFY.

So if ya know where I live...and you see flames, I gave up....THERE WILL BE AN EPIC YARD SALE, one the likes of this Po'dunk town aint eva seen before!

My goal is to donate, half to a charity/Orphanage (I will have to pray about it) and the other, for a family trip this summer.

HERE WE GO...and just in case anybody got a match?

The Fruit of Parenting

A VERY wise and beautiful mother sent this to me last night. She said she needed it and figured I did too....I bet A LOT of us do.
In the grand-scheme of things after the kids are raised and you look back, what is left, is you. Gloriously flawed,smarter, stronger you.

My kiddo's are hard, but if I looked at my life from a far, I would see...I laugh, almost as much a I cry. I PRAY more. I seek strong, honest , trustworthy people as friends. Life becomes way more about quality not quantity. More about good, healthy moments than the "things". What a life lesson.

So today is "ODE" to what I have learned from my kids. The gifts parenting a large family, dealing with a menagerie of strengths and weaknesses on an individual basis, and the pearls of wisdom, the strength, empathy and gifts they give me, by letting me, Lindsay, this totally messed up person whom has her own junk to figure out, be their MAMA!

What I have learned from my kids:

* Life is preparatory, right now may be the hardest it might ever get, but be prepared it may get even HARD-ER.

* If it is yellow, it is probably pee.

* Hard isn't BAD, it's just HARD.

* 7 different versions of "what happened", may not always help you figure out the truth.

*Make the Good moments count.

* Be who you are at home, in Costco, at church, cause, the real you is who you are the most.

*God makes up the half you don't.

*Pull-ups should never be washed and dried, EVER.

* Healing is universal, there is no time limit, wounds can be reopened in a NANO-SECOND. HANDLE WITH CARE.

* Dancing whenever, however you are dressed (or not dressed) when you hear a beat, always can put a smile on your face.

* The people who don't approve or support you, were never worth it anyway.

* Assume any time a five year old has "washed their hands" soap is optional.

* No matter , how big, little, flawed, gifted, rich poor, undamaged, or damaged...assume we are all just people, doing the best we can....because we all have been damaged.

WHAT A GIFT my children are to me. The life lessons they teach me can not be learned in the greatest of universities, they are my pearls of wisdom, particularly crafted for me by my Father in Heaven.JUST. for. me.
I just have to listen well, endure long enough, and allow patience to rule my heart,for me to learn them.

Mama's:
Promise me you will Always remember; You are Braver than you Believe,Stronger than you Seem and Smarter than you Think.

~Christopher Robin to Pooh

Calgon Moments and other Random stuff....

Really Sweet Cheeks? A lil' pillow fight through ya over the edge? "Welcome to my world Grandma"...your toes would be PRUNES if a pillow fight required Calgon Therapy!

I has been a Rage-a-licious day. Hubbie called and asked "how's the day going"...silence.
"Wow...so ya wanna tell me the details"...

"Nope".

"You need anything"?

"One way ticket to Mexico would be nice" (I'm just saying)

We can have GOOD, EVEN GREAT days, days of our definition of "normal". Which fools me EVERY-TIME..into thinking, "Hey we are getting it" .... I'm such a SUCKER!
I can have a straight run of two or three days, with out a 2-3 hour tantrum...and then I can have days like today.
It is AMAZING how the triggers that come out of nowhere!

For teenagers it can take a hormone surge,you simply asking a harmless question, you (heaven forbid) making them a Sandwich , when they a (gasp)wanted a bagel. Harmless my !*& when the rest of the day is shot with a steaming, grumpy, defiant person that melts you with their laser beam eyes.

"We are a Happy Family"...sorry, out of habit.

The hard thing with having bio siblings, or adopted siblings from the same O, or simply kids that had trauma in common (My duo that trigger each-other the most are my Domestic Scoobs and Pappilion) is they Trigger EACH-OTHER. If we have one problem in the morning, solve it, smooth it over (and this took MONTHS of practice to pull them out if there rages and help them turn their days around.
We have a 100% chance of THUNDER and LIGHTENING the rest of the day. It is like the chaos in their brains SPARK.

So yep...
Today started with Scoobs, ticked that Bugs wrote that competition essay, due today (that I had offered to help him with)...We were printing it off and getting the Cover page done...and he starts in with "I WANTED TO DO AN ESSAY TOO".

I hugged him "Bummer Dude, I offered a bunch of times, and I can see that your upset, we could write it just for us, today after school".
"NO I WANT TO WRITE ONE NOW".....sooooo yeah,after a gruesome half hour, he pulled it together to be able to go to school , but it was a L-O-N-G morning.

Next came Diva. I was out last night,playing Bunko having intellectual stimulation next door.
Some sweet friends , who mean well , showed up with treats and for a surprise visit.
Diva, spent the whole time trying to get the Friends Husbands attention, "pick me up, pick me up"...which is a major no-no at our house....

Hubbie sent the kids to bed , without addressing it, soooo I needed to. I tried to in a VERY gentle, non-shaming matter...and this is how WELL it went:

And yes DIVA is famous for shoe throwing....and no, not just at doors, hallways and down stairs. I have a lovely purple bruise on my right arm/elbow.


BEWARE...cause though she is supposed to keep the rage'n in her room.....We. Have. A. SNIPER. IN. THE. TOWER.

OH YEAH...
This was all before the little kids breakfast.
Sets quite the tone for the day eh?

Next came Senior Poopy pants, his lil' M.O. is taking his diaper off and filling his pants (in this case his footsie Jammie)...so bath-time,screaming, biting ...fun.

Kids dressed, fed, CLEAN UP Time....

Cookie is my quiet but deadly fella...He does not pull his own weight in the clean-up department, and his trigger is simple as "Go clean up your room", even if you send help...he will play with a toy, find something interesting to do , but NEVER joins in. This makes his siblings angry, and resentful....
If they come up to tell on him..He is already SOBBING and SCREAMING, cause "they were mean to him". Yes this sounds normal, but did I mention the crying lasts 2 hours?

School time, a little page, a little rage, a little pout, a little shout, via Chatter, struggling over learning Rhymes,....that ended up with a broken book, a torn up homemade game....and P.B. sobbing in protest.

Bummer Chatter, you had a field trip today, you are screaming so loud , the Therapist could not hear over the rage for me to cancel and say you would not be coming....I think she may have figured it out.

AN hour later (LUNCH IS GOING TO BE LATE)
We had a big girl talk. I didn't shame, I was sad with her that she missed her Field Trip, natural consequence toots. We figured out, she wasn't really MAD at Peanutbutter, she was afraid, that because Peantbutter was picking up the rhyming game faster than she was, he was smarter and she was dumb. We cheered, we hugged, what a brave little girl to talk about her FEELINGS....

While this was going down, Papillion must have been missing out on the action , casue look up to see her putting on her shoes, walking to the frount door....
"Where ya go'n darlin", says I.

SLAM, says the door.

"Freakn' Awesome" says I , under my breath.

So I LOCKED the child outside, she will come back when she is cold....or maybe walk back to her home country. Oh well. (OK sooo I didn't do that REPEAT: DID NOT DO THAT...but sooo TEMPTING)

I was a GROWN-UP.
I went after her....because let's be honest...she wanted/needed that attention, and *IF* she had the tools , she would have said "Mom, you have given the little kids A LOT of attention today, and I feel left out."

But that is NOT how we roll. NOPE.

Sooo she was walking to the van, and sitting in the passenger seat "getting a book" so she says.
Well Sweet child o' mine....lets practice answering Mom, before you stomp out of the house....so we went back in and tried acting it out again. She was tooo agitated to participate...so with a little help from my friends.."The shorties", they took turns being Mom, and Papillion....Diva does an AWE SOME Papillion impression. Peanut butter's "MAMA" impression was wa-ay off.
They were hilarious!

We changed it up with them answering as their big sister...

"Hey Darlin' where ya going"...

They're answers,

"Be right back Mom, I'm going to go get...
a Doughnut!
a Pony!
MARS!

She was still steaming, but cracked a lil' smile....we are still working on the Embers...but the blaze is gone.

Sooo anywho...there we are, lil' miss Calgon, you ain't got nuthin.
....but ya know a bubble bath tonight , does sound DIVINE!

If the Mama aint Happy....

Well most days the crazy starts with me. If I am not rejuvenated, ready for the day, they can sniff that out on me and man o' man that is a bucket full-o-crazy!
If I am feeling resentful, tired, sick, grumpy...how am I going to give them all I’ve got, if what I got no one should be buying?

We as mothers hear it ALL of the time ,the light hearted "Take care of yourself". I am saying this in a bossy (I have nine children, this is NO STRECH for me), no-nonsense sort of way (imagine my hands on my hips) TAKE. CARE. OF. YOUR. SELF.
One way or another our sweeties are going to figure out one way or another to get their needs met. I know there are not enough hours in the day, I know what your (at least my) laundry pile looks like. But if we do not nurture ourselves, how on this planet can we nurture our children, even more so our kids with special needs.

I am no Guru...promise; I am as guilty as the next lady finding solace in a soda and snickers bar. Diet Dr. Pepper to be exact...but there are a couple other tips and tools I have learned along this bumpy year.

I have Lupus, was diagnosed when I was 17. I have chronic pain and little to no immune system. By joints ache, my muscles get tired, but I still have nine children, regardless of my body’s protests of "GET YOUR BOOTY BACK IN BED".
Soo lets talk about sleep, exercise, eating, you time, and lets be a little selfish right now.

What I do, (you gotta do what works for you.)

I need my endorphins, they are like a drug for me, and get those achy traitorous joints lose and functioning.
I wake up 90% of all weekends at 5:00 a.m.
I hit the Gym. I live in Narnia...where HALF of the year is FREEZING. So during that half, I walk/run, take spinning classes, and swim. P.S. Yes I LOVE my water aerobics,(you can call me a Grandma if you want to..I love my elderly friends, they think I am a Rock-Star) there is something soothing about the water. I love laps, and the quiet time I get with myself.

DOSE it SUCK getting up that early ...uhhh yeah, was it a major sacrifice of sleep to do so, YEP, at first...and there are days it STILL is...but , once I get there...Here are my list of bonuses:

* I feel like I accomplished something positive
* There are BIG NICE people, who smile at you.
* Aggression and frustration can be wiped out in a sweet rockn' spinning session...your legs and butt HURT to much to "feel" grumpy
*Just walking, gives me a healthy rhythm, I can take with me during the day.
* I shower there Mon, Wends, Fri...I get a shower IN!!!! Now I may be missing my pretty mosaic tile and not dig the wearing of flip flops...but NO ONE opens my Shower curtain to tattle. I get to finish the whole thing without solving a fight, or to tell someone where something is...it, is, GENIUS!
*During the summer, I go on one mile walks with my littles, followed by another mile jog with my 7+ older kids....and then most nights, with a Neighbor or a friend, or my handsome Hubs, we hit a fast paced stroll or jog.

So yup waking up at 5...another tricks I have up my proverbial sleeve, is the 10 minute snooze. I don't "Snooze", I pray, I meditate, I ask for help with my day, for patience, for the will to do it again. Those are a precious 10 minutes that are mine. They make all of eth difference for me.

So exercise, Personal prayer time/meditation...and the devotional, or scripture tape, to and from the gym...and I have checked off:
Prayers
Exercise
Scriptures
Shower
....and the short people haven't even woken up yet!!!

Another is requiring a nap or quiet time, all Mama's need that break in the day to have something to look forward to. Even if the littles and Biggies are too hyper vigilant for sleep during the day, books, or book on tape, puzzles, in their rooms...and get yourself a HUGE icy cup o' the Doctor, Diet Dr. Pepper, that is a nice cup of tea, with lemon.

A great, cleansing drink I use when I am stressed bloated, feeling the BLAHHHHS...is:

*I make it in BIG Spring water Jugs (real classy over here)

Combine:
2 Liters Water
1 teaspoon freshly grated ginger
1 medium cucumber peeled and sliced thinly
1 medium lemon sliced thin and de-seeded
12 mint leaves
Let seep over night.

Other lifesavers for me are, my kids have alarms in there rooms, the kids that don't go to school, may wake up whenever they please, but they are not allowed downstairs, until we all go down together. they can wake, play on their rooms, clean up, get dressed, but must wait until I invite them down stairs, with me. The stealing has gone down, by half, since we have implemented this rule.

Another is at meal time. My kiddo's used to eat so fast, just for the seconds, I never had a chance to sit down, and eat with my family. The new *rule* is that , no matter "how fast" they finish their first serving, they must wait until Mom has finished her plate, before requesting seconds, or to leave the table. The control at mealtimes has gotten MUCH better.

Nights that I am DONE. I know you know what I am talking about.
These are the nights I have:

*Essential oils for a bath and book.
*My ipod full of my tunes for a walk outside or run to the gym, or take my cell phone and call a friend
*Emergency cash tucked away for a walk around, Tj Maxx

If we don't let ourselves be important too, when our buckets are empty, what are we gonna use to fill our lil' munchkins up with?

Love yourself. Take Care of yourself. Advocate for yourself!

-K- my hands are off my hips now.
Have a fabulous day!

He'll Carry You .by Hillary Weeks

Happy Sunday.
I love Sunday's. Correction, I used to love Sundays, the peace of the Sabbath, the reassuring words, and uplifting moments at church. The quiet peace of a Sunday afternoon home, with my family. I am desperately trying to get back to those days...not EXACTLY "those" days, but the peace, hearing any of church's uplifting messages, enjoying sunday afternoons, quiet optional , and not likley.

I can't go to church today, Hubby is not home, and I can't take all nine kids, and have them ready by 8:30, and juggle all that on my own. I am a little sad/and a little relived I don't have that battle today.
As I type this I am holding a screaming 2 year old. he doesn't want me. He doesn't want the love that I have for him. He has tried to head-butt me twice. my touch, my reassuring kisses stress him. I don't want his refusal of my love to hurt my heart, but it does.

Our Savior deals with that refusal for his love, his healing , on such a grander scale.

When what we do everyday ,takes everything from us. Our sanity, our belief things will be O.K....I have to remember, just as I am Heavenly Fathers daughter,and he loves me, he will help me fight this battle, he will lift me up and carry me,he loves my kids and wants them to be happy, in a loving family too, and he will send me angels in peoples clothing, that are malable tools in his hands.

How do I know this, because once not so very long ago, I got to one of those tools, and still am, just on a smaller scale. I get to be on the other side of service, what a lesson I am learning!

I was given such a gift this weekend. From a stranger. From someone that, bless her,let a prompting, and heart of gold, bless me. EVEN when I said no.
She reminded me that God knows my name. Thank you.

I have been amazed at the forgiveness, and unconditional love I am given.
If people can do that for me no matter how flawed I am as a mother, neighbor, wife and friend...I CAN DO THIS for my kids. Not with out help, earthly and heavenly.

I have to remember as much as this song is for me, for us parents,it is about our hurt children. He loves than even more than we do. he knows THEIR NAMES...he sent them us.

Soo just a little thought....a beautiful song , and a heart full of gratitude for it all today.

Love,
Lindsay

HAPPY Freakn' Saturday...a text I sent to my Husband...I blew it!

Hubs is at an Adlerian theory conference. At a town four blessed hours away, lucky dog. He is finishing some required hours for a grant that pays back of *ALL* of his MSW schooling. Pretty Awesome eh? Last year we went with him and crashed at families, last year the kids had only been home 5 weeks, last year "things" were different.

Saturdays, Holiday's, heck ANY DAY that has been ear marked as "special", has the possibility to be somewhat enjoyable, will be sabotaged. I think it is just to much sensory overload, too MUCH possibility , too much good. As sad as it is chaos is where my kids are comfortable, NOT happy, but they have swam around in it enough to know it's where they thrive best.

Hubs called in-between breakfast and Hell. :) My phone died mid sentence.

The Playa's:
Scoobs 7- my domestic adopted darling.
Cookie 5- Haitian Chubbs.
Diva 5- Haitian tiny Fire-cracker

His text:
"Just wanted to say good morning and i love you.On a short break. Will touch base with you later."

My text back 10 minutes later , when I could plug in my phone:

"Sorry phone died....Diva was in time-in for stealing scooby's hootenanny while he was in time-in for tattling when I reminded him 3 x not too. Cookie was knocking on the wall pretending someone was here (so I would try to go see who it was)...while I was holding a SCREAMING Dude, after catching him climbing out of his toys and slurping syrup out of the empty pan....good times over here, and I won't begin to tell you about last night, or how I was woken up at 3:24 a.m., 0r 5:20 a.m. ..and for good a 6:38. Diva and I just got done trashing her room, sounds like she is re-throwing all of the shoes from the girls shoe bucket at the wall and taking turns bamming the door with a church shoe and slamming the door. HAPPY SATURDAY BABY!!!

...and that, sweet peeps is what ten minutes looks like in my universe.

It. was. a. night. ova here! Started great, some kids passed out watching The Cosby show, others went to bed easy-peasey. Small power struggle with El'Papillion over wanting to sleep on the couch, but nothin' I couldn't handle.

Sooo 3:24 rolls around, and P.B. is hacking a lung, moaning, and all stuffed up. I'm not sure if we were throwing up from the snots, or flu, fun non-the-less.
Got him settled, cleaned up,new jammies, new towels...washed my hands and Lysol-ed the bathroom. Checked Scooby's blood sugar, adjusted his pump...changed Dude's diaper.

Crawled in bed about 4:20ish....with two tornadoes
, children, whom had magically crawled into my bed.

Lil Miss Faith decided she needed/wanted a cuddle and a bottle around 5-something, tucked her in with me...at EXACTLY 6:38, Cookie came in my room yelling "MO-OM I gotta go to the bathroom". (Now everyone may be way more rational being woken up for the third R.E.M. sleep within a 3 hour period, I am not one of those people, it makes me angry(like imagine RED LASER BEAMS OF DEATH coming out of my eyes irrationally M.A.D.). ..especially when the EMERGENCY pee session was more like a "tinkle, tinkle sprinkle" and honestly the "I need to pee" was really a "HEY MOM, I'm awake, you NEED to be awake TOO so you know that I am ALIVE"..."OH and by the way I woke up, Dude,Scooby,Diva and Chatter , BEFORE I came in to wake up you, Faith, Bugs and P.B."

Yes at 6:30 on a Saturday morning, eight out if nine children have been woken up by this one small fry.
Do I want to growl like a bear, and hang this child up to dry ....UH YEAH!...I take a quick minute to pray "Dear Heavely Father I need patience RIGHT NOW, so I do not yell, or un-do anything that might make him regress, I am angry, I am resentful , I am exhausted." (I have already had two Diet Dr. Peppers this morning)

So I take a deep breath, wait for the milli-second it takes for him to potty (cause he didn't really have to go)I sigh a DEEP sigh, and get up, I ask small fry to sit in Momma's rocker in her room...ask the little girls to play quietly in their room (cause they are way to hyper vigilant to be able to go back to sleep. Make another bottle for Faith and put her in her crib. Change Dude, give him a sippy with water, and put him back down.Check Scoobs Blood-Sugar, I tell Scoobs, P.B. and Bugs they can go back to sleep...and I get in the Rocker with Cookie on my lap. I HOLD him, I snuggle him and tell him that "I see YOU, and if it feels scary to wake up and not have anyone awake with him, come crawl in bed with Mama"...but waking everyone up makes them tired and grumpy. I ask him if he wants to climb back in bed with me and snuggle, or does he want to rock himself and watch me sleep , so he can remember how it looks to sleep.
He wants to rock in y big chair, peachy, I kiss him and crawl back in bed...and am so FRUSTRATED AND EXHAUSTED..I can't stop my heart and mind racing... I lay praying for strength for twenty more minutes and get on up to start the day.

Sooo see it started fabulously.

We made Hootenannies/German Pancakes for breakfast, they are like a casserole pancake.

Soooo to keep the down-low on my text short and sweet...I MESSED up in parenting...YUP me! I through the Diva into her rage..because I was not on my top game, I resorted to my "regular parenting", instead of therapeutic parenting.

Scoobs was on the top of his sabotaging game, we were all content, sitting down to breakfast, prayers were said, in MID-SCRIPTURE read, he wants to tattle on Cookie and Dude, and how they wouldn't go to sleep last night. (Unless it is LIFE-or-DEATH, we don't do the tattling thing, NOT ALLOWED, Bugs is the only one allowed to "check on kids for me and report"...cause the rest of them use it as a way to control, shame and lie about each-other...the Mama is soooo not getting wrapped up in that game"!) I say "Scoobs, love ya, but don't want to hear it"....and HIS COMPULSION TO TELL is ignited, HE , Can't STOP...it is like word-vomit now and he is spewing as loud and fast as he can what he feels he HAS to tell me. ...in turn this triggers Papillion...so SHE starts yelling..."Happy Breakfast time".

Scoobs is banished to the stool until he can keep his words under control...he is SCREAMING that "he is STARVING"... I go sit with him on the couch for a lil' Mommy and me holding time,I have to leave him to check on the kids and re-dish out seconds on juice and pancakes.

When he is calm and ready he rejoins the table to see that someone has partaken in his breakfast, while we were gone. (DEEP SIGH, EXCELLENT, I don't have anymore)
Diva is still working on her second serving...but the Scoobs plate is twords her, the bites taken are facing her, she is looking down with a mini-grin on her face.

*What I Should have done* - BUMMER! LOOKS like a MOUSE ate your breakfast while you were screaming, did ANYONE SEE A GIANT INVISIBLE MOUSE EAT SCOOBS BREAKFAST"...."Scoobs since a Giant invisible MOUSE ate your breakfast, what do you want to eat...ice-cream, potato chips, chocolate".
I would have let him pick it out, fixing his animosity to whomever ate the food, and letting the jealousy and injustice of him getting an extra yummy breakfast sit with the culprit, but not aggravating the situation.

But did I do that ...ummm NOOOOO, no I did not. :0/

It was 9:00 a.m. and. I. was. done.
I swooped in, dumped what was left on Diva's plate and gave it to Scooby. I told her I couldn't BELIEVE she had taken his food , when she still had her seconds on her plate. I shamed her, I showed her I was mad. I bought myself one WHOPPER of a tantrum.

She started with the frozen, not looking up,not talking or answering questions, drooling thing that drives me up the wall.

I should have read this post prior to my parenting flop.

Soo I sing-songed ,"Bummer babe, looks like if you are too tiered to hold that lil' head up, and answer Mom, looks like you need a little rest. Don't you worry ,I will help you up to your room." (She is holing into the door molding NOT budging, drooling)

So we go up to her room, I set her down on the bed, she jumps off. I tell her , when she is ready come on down and tell her brother she is sorry, come on down...as I close her door the first shoe hits the door.
The rage starts as I hear , "SHRIEK", BAM, "I HATE YOU" , BAM, "I am GOING TO KILL EVERYBODY", BAM....so I know she needs me, know she wants me to witness her rage, her fear. So I go on in and help her. "Sweet we are throwing shoes?, MY FAVORITE"..I throw the shoes too, I help knock all of the books out of the shelf.
I "help" trash the room. I yell "MAN I FEEL BETTER"! She is Shocked that I am being so crazy, she has stopped. I smile at her, "feel better", I ask. She flips me off. I smile again..."well this has worn me out, but go ahead and finish making this glorious mess babe! It has to be cleaned up before we come out and tell SCOOBY sorry, but hey , take your time do, your doing a great job."

Twenty minutes later this cute lil' head pops up and says "Mom I am finished, I even cleaned up my room and am ready to say sorry to Scooby"...I CHEER...I pick her up I swing her around , I KISS her cute cheeks, I snuggle...I go praise the heck out of the clean room and ignore the new marks in the door and the wall. I can Spackle those , her heart is way more precious than those dents and scuffs.

She hugs her brother, with-out me asking and offers part of her corn dog from lunch.

AMAZING eh? and we could have gotten here, so MUCH sooner , if I hadn't blown it.
Enjoy your weekend!!!!