tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post6883474865985673536..comments2023-06-25T01:21:49.003-07:00Comments on Home: a soft place to fall: HAPPY Freakn' Saturday...a text I sent to my Husband...I blew it!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-26414628119550282232012-08-21T12:12:32.754-07:002012-08-21T12:12:32.754-07:00Thanks so much for being so honest about your stru...Thanks so much for being so honest about your struggles on your blog. I'm still reading back, as you may have figured out by my comments over the past few days. But this has taught me a lot of important stuff.<br /><br />1. I'm not alone. This is huge. My son is 23 now and he first came to live with me at age 18. He was 14 when we started the adoption process. He definitely has attachment disorder, and your description of your issues with your children matches his behaviors almost to a T.<br /><br />2. It's not because I've failed him. I had this naive idea that a few years of a loving home and a parent who loved him would somehow heal his troubles from his whole life, or that at least I wouldn't be the target of his rage and so on. I knew he might have serious problems and was prepared to do whatever it took to help him, but I wasn't *really* prepared, because all of it took me by surprise, and really has hurt me a lot. I know I'm not perfect but when I see that this happens to other adoptive moms I now realize that our experience isn't even that unusual or bad. <br /><br />3. I've picked up a whole lot of ideas of how to approach things better just from reading your blog. I started out as a pushover and basically let him manipulate me a lot for the first year. Well, the honeymoon lasted a few months, but after that it got worse and worse. I finally started being a lot harder to manipulate and a lot more authoritarian to keep from being used and abused. This has worked well in that he now does chores. And it was a terrible, difficult 2 years in which we got to that point. But our relationship now is not at all good, and I want to improve it. I want to see and feel real healing, rather than just complying unwillingly.<br /><br />So thanks again very much for having this blog. I love the way you handle things. If there is a book I could buy that would teach me some of these techniques, I'd love that. I can't afford to travel or go to seminars. I can't leave home because there's nobody to leave him with. But I'd love to learn more about theraputic parenting.Tatianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14093572344825878310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-72025075479721712652011-02-26T22:33:01.691-08:002011-02-26T22:33:01.691-08:00love the drool. eeerrrrr!!!!!! Why oh why does tha...love the drool. eeerrrrr!!!!!! Why oh why does that send me over the edge????Chavonne and her peoplehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15037858723244348987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-505635893090528562011-02-26T14:49:01.134-08:002011-02-26T14:49:01.134-08:00Oi yoi yoi!! Isn't it so fun?? Hang in there...Oi yoi yoi!! Isn't it so fun?? Hang in there!Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444891084585965661noreply@blogger.com