tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post6645848926480105364..comments2023-06-25T01:21:49.003-07:00Comments on Home: a soft place to fall: Soul CancerUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-63827923252755059162013-05-08T08:39:42.010-07:002013-05-08T08:39:42.010-07:00I am in awe of this blog... I have told so many ot...I am in awe of this blog... I have told so many other trauma mommas about it, because it is the reality of healing and helping our littles that we need each other to lean on or to laugh with(even if it is about pee and poo). So true about the support, because most people don't and can not understand. I didn't just 18 months ago. Keep on trucking sister, one day at a time... and I really hope to meet you next year in Florida at trauma mommas :)<br />Prayers to you and yours <br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-9024004697939357282012-08-19T06:33:59.888-07:002012-08-19T06:33:59.888-07:00Thank you, thank you, thank you!Thank you, thank you, thank you!Tatianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14093572344825878310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-55363493792448471812012-07-25T19:28:09.945-07:002012-07-25T19:28:09.945-07:00Thank you for this post. As someone who has kept ...Thank you for this post. As someone who has kept many secrets about many people close to me and myself in regards to mental health I totally get it. One morning in church someone in the congregation got up and said we had to pray for XYZ because their nephew committed suicide. An outpouring happened. But of all the churches I've belonged to in my life (which is many) this is the only church it could probably happen in (a church rocked multiple times by sexual abuse scandals and traumas, they have been forced to acknowledge we are a broken, fragile, people who heal by truth and vulnerability with each other). This was the first time I saw mental illness faced without shame. It happens sometimes, but more often than not we who face it with family, friends, ourselves, face it alone. You are in my prayers. No shame here.Medkidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13844231660013945062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-81920979373942251782012-07-23T00:19:23.866-07:002012-07-23T00:19:23.866-07:00I popped over from Marty's blog . . . and want...I popped over from Marty's blog . . . and want to say "Thank You".<br /><br />I would like to ask if I might reprint this post (with links) on my blog. My readers need to hear your heart, as right now I don't even have the words to say.<br /><br />Just. Last. Week. we took our 10 year old daughter to live at a Residential Care Facility . . . 600+ miles away. Heartbreaking . . .<br /><br />I haven't even written about it yet, as I just. don't. have. the. words.<br /><br /><br />thank you,<br /><br />Laurel<br />mama of 12 (ages 10, 10, 12, 13, 15, 19, 21, 23, 23, 25, 26, 28)Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17253303288242135440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-16561341760248214462012-07-22T20:07:57.270-07:002012-07-22T20:07:57.270-07:00My name is Marty. I am estranged from my oldest ad...My name is Marty. I am estranged from my oldest adopted daughter after she was sent to an RTC for sexual abuse issues. I am still parenting her younger siblings and every day is a struggle. For them and for me. Thank you for saying what so many of us don't feel like we can say out loud. Hardest work I've ever done.<br /><br />I'm linking you on my blog.Marty Waldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07457166508208134485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-40612682267907424532012-07-17T21:30:03.550-07:002012-07-17T21:30:03.550-07:00There is NO ONE more open than Lindsay.
Just sayi...There is NO ONE more open than Lindsay.<br /><br />Just saying...CChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01999924630583651262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-66915065962384980902012-07-08T17:36:20.633-07:002012-07-08T17:36:20.633-07:00Have you tried being open with your friends and fa...Have you tried being open with your friends and family? People can be loving and compassionate, when given a chance. My BFF had a rough go of it growing up -- several years in and out of hospital when we were in high school for a mental illness (anorexia) with a horrific death rate (like 15%, apparently one is less like to die if they're schizophrenic)... but her and her fam were showered with so much live and care. My foster fam (yes, I grew up in the system) helped organize the meal delivery for her family, tons of outings for her siblings (so they could get out and do the fun stuff they'd be doing with their parents... had parents not been sitting vigil at the hospital, attending 8 billion therapy Appts with their hospitalized sister/my BFF in a town 2 hrs away), etc. it was exactly tge same support for her family as would've been given to a family who had a kid with a physical illness.<br /><br />I'll pray for you and your fam and hope you receive the same kind of support. Hopefully an awesome support network is out there, just waiting to help should u be willing to ask!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-9062333062215461742012-07-08T07:28:58.245-07:002012-07-08T07:28:58.245-07:00I love you, Lindsay. I truly believe that because ...I love you, Lindsay. I truly believe that because people don't have something wonderful to offer, they offer nothing instead. Not only that, it's the whole 'if I acknowledge this, it could happen to me too' attitude. It's like people are afraid it will rub off or something. This is not to excuse the response, because it IS inexcusable. I'm really sorry you weren't wrapped in the arms of women with love, acceptance and compassion, my friend. Continuing to pray for you and your girl, and praying for the hearts of people who look the other way. (((hug)))Barb Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160363075076811996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-29865346095943922842012-07-07T21:27:25.471-07:002012-07-07T21:27:25.471-07:00I don't know you but my heart aches for you an...I don't know you but my heart aches for you and your family and all that you have gone through... I know that I can't fix it--but I don't think you are expecting any of us to fix it because if a human being could do that you'd have done that long ago! <br />I'm sorry that ignorance and isolation and stigma are still issues when it comes to mental illness and trauma. I know firsthand how isolating it can be--not because of my child but because of my own experiences. There is something going on in my own family right now that makes me feel as if we will never be the same, never find peace but like you, there's that sense I get that people wouldn't get it, or they'd automatically judge when judgement is soooo NOT what is needed!! <br />Do you still get to be in touch with Papillion? Is she receptive to that at all or do you not feel it is in anyone's best interests right now? Do you feel that ultimately she will get to come home to you? (As you can see, I'm not fully aware of the situation--sorry!) <br /> I am sorry for your pain and I wish you peace amidst the pieces of your broken heart.Lorinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-56875285821568991992012-07-07T18:15:07.012-07:002012-07-07T18:15:07.012-07:00I agree....sort of.
I'm a pretty private pe...I agree....sort of. <br /><br />I'm a pretty private person, and would not want people to be speculating on anything my children are going through, frankly. BUT, if they had cancer, I would also want to keep that private.....and good luck to me! For some reason, very little is allowed to be private any more. I cannot believe the questions I hear people ask about other people's scars or operations, or disabilities. NONE of their business! (I think.)<br /><br />HOWEVER, official support is something different, altogether! It is wrong that people need to sell their houses to put their children in residential treatment. It is wrong that Sergei has to go without contact lenses, and my husband without the sticks to check his blood sugar, so that we can afford for Anastasia to have therapy.<br /><br />In Michigan the governor just signed a bill that requires insurance companies to cover autism treatment. I cannot understand this. It is so unbelievably unfair! I have a cousin who is severely autistic; she would never, apart from a miracle, live anything like a normal life - but my kids, with therapy and other treatment would have some HOPE! Instead, we struggle along with a little of this..no; can't afford that. Nothing for him - unless he actually threatens us - THEN we could get help. It makes me want to weep; it is SO UNJUST! I ought to be happy for the parents whose kids are autistic, but I guess I'm feeling too ground down to be. THOSE kids are in school already - getting services! Mine are too traumatized to be in school....and no one cares.Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12623179886908222942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-16060776748552538422012-07-07T01:06:36.283-07:002012-07-07T01:06:36.283-07:00Brought me to tears. I am there. I feel that pain...Brought me to tears. I am there. I feel that pain.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-8582582730606379562012-07-06T19:20:46.519-07:002012-07-06T19:20:46.519-07:00Yes! Yes, and Yes!
I do get jealous when I see th...Yes! Yes, and Yes!<br /><br />I do get jealous when I see the community rally around a family in need. And I feel horrible! that I feel that way. <br /><br />I'm very vocal about my sons difficulties. I know it makes people uncomfortable. I know some are scared of him. I know they don't know what to say or do. I get that. Mental illness, trauma, RAD, etc. isn't clean. You can't pack it neatly in a box. You can't make it pretty.<br /><br />I don't know how to make people see our needs as valid. As long as others continue to judge our kids, and our parenting, I don't think we will ever be considered worthy of rally.Kristinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15401725929395230941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-59591575414397636842012-07-06T18:20:55.987-07:002012-07-06T18:20:55.987-07:00Lindsay - beautiful post, as usual. I'm so so...Lindsay - beautiful post, as usual. I'm so sorry that you don't have more IRL support - it is so needed and so missed when it's not there. I'm not sure how to fix this problem, but I know I have tried to be open about our struggles and have been lucky to find a few locals who are also struggling with mental illness and can relate a bit to our struggles with Andrew. Sending you and your family lots of hugs and prayers!Johannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11490727625082003162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-18584851023120368752012-07-06T14:01:57.364-07:002012-07-06T14:01:57.364-07:00I am with you about the isolation and lack of supp...I am with you about the isolation and lack of support. Its so important to have a community of other parents who get it. Sadly those in our own physical community may not understand the pain involved but please know there are always those of us here on line who support and care for you and others in your situation.Sammiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18394690162973974941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-69214781864754908112012-07-06T13:12:04.849-07:002012-07-06T13:12:04.849-07:00I wish I would have had these words last summer......I wish I would have had these words last summer...almost exactly a year ago today...when we lost J. When his mental illness changed our lives forever, and his choices turned everything into chaos. <br /><br />We've lost so much, but few people see it, or chose to see it. "But you're always so strong! And you always have a smile on your face!" I hate that about myself, as if I need to show weakness to get support. <br /><br />I feel a responsive blog post coming on.Hannah_Raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02456126190061240236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-4066586991971090772012-07-06T10:04:58.254-07:002012-07-06T10:04:58.254-07:00Very well said. You have an amazing gift to be abl...Very well said. You have an amazing gift to be able to articulate what so many of us parenting our trauma survivor kids feel. Thank you!Ninahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09793567348752161019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-86262624270917375052012-07-06T09:11:17.407-07:002012-07-06T09:11:17.407-07:00Beautifully said. I went through the people avoidi...Beautifully said. I went through the people avoiding eye contact and crossing the street with my first family. I was afraid of violating my children's privacy. The second time around, I am approaching it differently. Everyone I allow my children ton interact with is educated on their needs before my children have contact. It works better, but since I only have two, it is much easier to do for me then it would be for you.<br /><br />I am sorry you went through that terrible summer alone. I was there when my 26 year old RAD was 17, 18, and 19. She finally decided two years ago that she didn't like feeling that way, and found herself a therapist. There has been miraculous healing, but she will never be "normal". I pray that she heals to the point she can find happiness in her life. I am praying your daughter finds this too.GB's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08866513131959998883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-25405193181381911182012-07-06T08:33:17.797-07:002012-07-06T08:33:17.797-07:00LOL..I knew what you meant! Hugs right back at you...LOL..I knew what you meant! Hugs right back at you Cynthia!Lindsay Mama to Ninehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14246028855946874766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-81502702804152622732012-07-06T08:15:16.620-07:002012-07-06T08:15:16.620-07:00Eeeek stupid auto-correct! I'm not renaming y...Eeeek stupid auto-correct! I'm not renaming you I promise. It was late and I was over tired and posting from a stupid device that thinks it knows better than I what I want to say. Please forgive me. Wish we could be there for the play tonight! You are an Amazing Mom! Hugs!<br />CynthiaC Dawn's buckethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05265694670400718353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-48480338606939232012-07-06T07:28:35.209-07:002012-07-06T07:28:35.209-07:00I've thought much about this, too. I'm ju...I've thought much about this, too. I'm just heading into the land of teenagers and already have one in the hospital. I've thought much about this. I've been jealous of the attention and support given to the obviously special needs person in our area. And this time I broke down and asked for help. There's nothing people can do for my son, but I did ask for help with my house and yard because I just can't keep up. We'll see if it materializes. I do know the person who did the needs assessment gets it at least at a professional level...which I'm thankful for.<br /><br />Love you so very much!Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444891084585965661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-67266444446211388682012-07-06T07:17:39.836-07:002012-07-06T07:17:39.836-07:00Lindsay, I hope this was even the slightest bit he...Lindsay, I hope this was even the slightest bit healing for you to write - you are brave and courageous every day in working to heal your littles. I needed to hear more about your experience with this - it has been on my heart lately to do something special for Mamas who have lost children (we have had a lot of them in our community recently) I also recently found out from an insider that our county is on a "watch list" for suicides and that we have a 50% depression rate - I was furious, because none of it is reported in local news sources nor is it talked about among community members. As I look to put something together for the Mamas that have lost their kiddos through death by physical illness, I am going to add those who have lost them to suicide and through relocation to residential facilities. The problem is, it will be oh so hard to locate these families since it is not talked about. If you have any thoughts on how to "find" these families in my local community, I'd love to hear. As I struggle to parent my three, I'm always in awe of "watching you" do such an amazing job of healing your tribe - you are an inspiration!Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14405054347667234957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-67735341837609551792012-07-06T07:13:11.281-07:002012-07-06T07:13:11.281-07:00Mental health issues are the loneliest issues to d...Mental health issues are the loneliest issues to deal with. We have daughters with physical disabilities and daughters who suffer from PTSD etc... they both present their challenges. But by FAR the emotional challenges are much harder to deal with. <br />We are fortunate that in our church we talk about it, and refuse to be ashamed if we have to stay home from services because somebody who is 12 in body, is 2 or 3 in her emotions that particular morning.<br /><br />My sis in law and mom in law were both severe schizophrenics. This was back in the day of draconian methods to deal with such issues, and great shame was surrounded by mental illness. I refuse to be ashamed. I am so proud of my girls who have been through so much. Such diagnosis should only secure our compassion. I hope and pray that we who deal with such things will be pioneers in educating the public that this is a REAL problem not psychomatic and certainly not something to be ashamed of.Christie Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09738612207150868577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-10804275050766125352012-07-06T05:41:44.508-07:002012-07-06T05:41:44.508-07:00Well said. I feel the exact same way.Well said. I feel the exact same way.Cecihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03865210881566854534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-34139479922011902802012-07-06T05:25:32.289-07:002012-07-06T05:25:32.289-07:00Can you feel the hugs, cause I am hugging you to p...Can you feel the hugs, cause I am hugging you to pieces. Dealing with a mentally ill, traumatized child is mentally and physically exhausting. Having to buffer what is typical day to day life is often what pushes me over the edge. I think I often hold back in sharing because I don't want her judged by her behaviors. This is such an isolating road. So thankful you are in my world!Carihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07211720861329198106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-45619190118762192022012-07-06T03:10:45.779-07:002012-07-06T03:10:45.779-07:00Totally agree- I found this out two years ago when...Totally agree- I found this out two years ago when I had my own panic attacks and anxiety. I felt so alone because I thought I was a freak. BUT God made me a talker and I started talking about it with people and what do you know, lots and lots of people struggle. They are just ashamed. And now as we wait a month and a half for a freakin child psych appointment I am stuck reaching out to people around me - and I'm finding out that my kids aren't so unique in their mental problems either. People just don't talk about it (I'm not "people"). I'm glad you aren't people either :)One Crowded Househttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06646904151810368442noreply@blogger.com