tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post3799595041814574490..comments2023-06-25T01:21:49.003-07:00Comments on Home: a soft place to fall: Dear Church, do you want to know why those of us that have adopted the fatherless....Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-56274833852819869272016-04-17T19:06:07.557-07:002016-04-17T19:06:07.557-07:00Wow, intense, honest, heartfelt and the real deal....Wow, intense, honest, heartfelt and the real deal. My daughter adopted a child from foster care, but it's been somewhat easier that what you've gone through, because he was only three months old when he came home to us. The challenges were with the "system," but he's finally ours as of 12/16/15, although it took two and a half years of not giving up. I have a grown son with Asperger's Syndrome, my biological child, and taking him to church was no picnic and always elicited judgement. He has grown into an amazing man, but parenting him when he was a child was beyond difficult.womanofworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04107741448919721059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-72249819176706448422016-04-13T09:11:38.567-07:002016-04-13T09:11:38.567-07:00Encouraging words, thank you for sharing.
Encouraging words, thank you for sharing.<br />Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17066789970630872713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-69558360060355645092016-04-10T19:16:30.008-07:002016-04-10T19:16:30.008-07:00Amen. You articulated words that have been swirli...Amen. You articulated words that have been swirling around in my heart for quite some time...tjphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14650758474086591250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-28756483262014010462016-04-10T11:26:30.607-07:002016-04-10T11:26:30.607-07:00Wonderful article! Makes me feel not so alone. As ...Wonderful article! Makes me feel not so alone. As difficult as it was, the worst part was when they came of age, found their birth parents, and then the birth parents convinced them to hate us and come back to them. One birth parent even tried to extort money out of us. The trouble never seems to end.anonymous admirer of this Godly womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13927355733910478691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-25042165679860110072016-04-09T12:09:31.232-07:002016-04-09T12:09:31.232-07:00Insightful. Insightful. youngwifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08315258882848295126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-75131119852438796572016-04-08T08:41:03.593-07:002016-04-08T08:41:03.593-07:00Two kids from hard places in two years. Haven'...Two kids from hard places in two years. Haven't been to church in... two years. This is spot on.Jen and Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09900713898175928131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-20710876403242667142016-04-07T21:21:04.015-07:002016-04-07T21:21:04.015-07:00Thanks so much for sharing this here. I hope and ...Thanks so much for sharing this here. I hope and pray your church, friends... see it too. You put so well, the feelings that we all feel. Hugs to you & your family. We are in the same boat. Our youngest is in a locked facility right now & we had to leave our church due to the grief we got over it... It wasn't our choice, but people felt like we were trying to get rid of her... We weren't. We just wanted all of us to stay alive. Suicidal and homicidal threats & attempts daily are not good for anyone. Hang in there! You are not alone.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07565532345174272021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-33080239579462953512016-04-07T17:39:04.900-07:002016-04-07T17:39:04.900-07:00trying to figure out how to let you know that this...trying to figure out how to let you know that this is the most authentic and moving statement I have read to the church from adoptive or guardian parents. Thank you.Lenorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12452548695495930398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-39646407122778267802016-04-07T12:56:40.606-07:002016-04-07T12:56:40.606-07:00You all are my tribe...my people. Yes. Thank you f...You all are my tribe...my people. Yes. Thank you for sharing this and to all who have commented. This article and the subsequent comments made me laugh AND cry. Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308687067762583983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-16676506444046767922016-04-06T16:53:48.803-07:002016-04-06T16:53:48.803-07:00My heart hurts for you, because I do know how you ...My heart hurts for you, because I do know how you feel....although I didn't/don' have 8! :) You did an excellent job of portraying what life is like when you adopt a hurting child. God bless you!Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-44978505381312297782016-04-06T07:24:26.983-07:002016-04-06T07:24:26.983-07:00The way most churches function is highly unhelpful...The way most churches function is highly unhelpful to ANY parent, let alone one of a special needs child. You are expected to be regular in attendance, on time, well behaved, neatly dressed, and behaving extra well. <br /><br />Add to that the fact that you are lucky to have a small handful of people there who really care about you or your kids, and it makes it a hassle and a burden to even have to attend.<br /><br />Maybe find one of those "hippie" places. We go to one. Very informal, no one looks at you funny if you walk in an hour late, but just says hi, glad you made it. We have discussions not sermons, food, candid stories, even cussing sometimes. :-) And, the kids are free to sit with us or go outside and play a game. <br /><br />If you can't find a group like this, maybe start one yourself :-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03138171750963593323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-56374804504236540582015-05-14T05:01:17.901-07:002015-05-14T05:01:17.901-07:00First you have to find a church family that unders...First you have to find a church family that understands and that offers spiritual encouragement and emotional support, rather than judging you as obviously inadequate if you express any frustration at all with the situation or can't make it to services all the time.<br />LostHopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09778788757444242799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-46513686140586621142015-05-14T04:59:56.057-07:002015-05-14T04:59:56.057-07:00First you have to find a Church family that unders...First you have to find a Church family that understands, that gives spiritual encouragement and emotional support, rather than judging you as obviously inadequate if you express any frustration.<br />LostHopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09778788757444242799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-59422060753064286782015-04-30T13:56:10.080-07:002015-04-30T13:56:10.080-07:00We have adopted 9 kids. Six of them are presumed g...We have adopted 9 kids. Six of them are presumed grown and out of the house. Last year, we adopted 3 boys who are now 4, 5 & 8. Our church experience is compounded by the fact that my husband is the pastor. I miss more church than ever before and no matter how much we try to educate, some people will never get it. I just pray some day I feel like it is worth it. (However, the six grandkids are worth it. :) )Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15271246505964034596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-72984525724632269222015-04-13T01:18:36.832-07:002015-04-13T01:18:36.832-07:00wow! perfectly said. i am not the same person wh...wow! perfectly said. i am not the same person who adopted 3 african children (adding to my 10 bio. children) 7 years ago. that person is gone. lost. never to be found. i miss her. everything has changed. every single family member deeply impacted by the changes. i am tired beyond tired . . . lonely beyond lonely. today, i was thinking, "oh how good it would be if i had just one friend . . . one friend to share my pain and sorrow with . . . just one". but, no. the church ladies don't want to hear my pain; they want to pretend that life is wonderful. (i am too tired to capitalize my letters tonight, but wanted to share how deeply this touched me.) thank you for sharing your heart. thank you for your transparency. Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17253303288242135440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-48969705116056608492015-04-10T07:33:05.942-07:002015-04-10T07:33:05.942-07:00You are more than welcome to share this, anywhere ...You are more than welcome to share this, anywhere you believe it will be helpful for special needs, adoptive and foster families.<br />thanks so much,<br />LindsayLindsay Mama to Ninehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14246028855946874766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-72035385219104988152015-04-10T06:03:47.189-07:002015-04-10T06:03:47.189-07:00THIS ARTICLE SHOULD BE PUBLISHED IN EVERY CHURCH B...THIS ARTICLE SHOULD BE PUBLISHED IN EVERY CHURCH BULLETIN THIS SUNDAY...MAY I HAVE YOUR PERMISSION TO ASK OUR CHURCH? I CAN MAKE IT ANONYMOUS IF YOU PREFER? PEOPLE NEED TO BE AWARE SO THEY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP...MANY PEOPLE HAVE NOT IDEA BECAUSE NO ONE HAS EVER TAKEN THE TIME TO EXPLAIN IT TO THEM...UNTIL NOW.Don'tgiveuphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06348007785725980638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-73172228790749305552015-04-09T20:28:43.727-07:002015-04-09T20:28:43.727-07:00I so understand you. just being a family and surv...I so understand you. just being a family and surviving is the only option.aliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09483902094703307950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-89339488190808163552015-04-09T13:15:33.558-07:002015-04-09T13:15:33.558-07:00Some get it. Some don't. Some seem to get it....Some get it. Some don't. Some seem to get it. And we want them to get it. But in the end, we know they really dont. Its a lonely road we walk. Country road, or busy highway, its just a lonely road.Tedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05967159463968012170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-37726272678160391652015-04-09T07:56:44.616-07:002015-04-09T07:56:44.616-07:00I just laugh reading this (in a good way) as I can...I just laugh reading this (in a good way) as I can relate to some of this, as a foster and adoptive parent. The best friendships I have are with other adoptive parents who walk this road. Thanks for sharing this post!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-88638809769220058982015-04-09T06:12:22.628-07:002015-04-09T06:12:22.628-07:00This! This is me right now! It is just so good to...This! This is me right now! It is just so good to know it isnt just me! ArtsyCraftyMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16475234233138778863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-73742272177043859472015-04-09T05:56:11.927-07:002015-04-09T05:56:11.927-07:00I groaned. I sobbed. I snort-laughed. It's all...I groaned. I sobbed. I snort-laughed. It's all true, and you are not alone. Thanks for baring your soul and reminding me I'm not alone either. This has been my life for nearly 30 years. It does get easier. But the deep dread is still there -- that one day, the phone or the doorbell will ring, and I'll be told she's dead, or she's killed someone, or something else horrific. Altho' you are right -- no one who hasn't done this can possibly understand all the moment-by-moment ramifications of the decision to adopt -- I have been mind-bogglingly blessed with a group of friends who have accepted and loved us unconditionally despite our crazy family. Eternally grateful for these precious people. This is me, telling you, you're doing great and you're amazing. And God knows exactly where that dang wedding ring is, and I suspect He's fashioning many more stunning jewels to lavish on you on That Day.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16838422008687272445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-36639856255763876042015-04-08T22:12:44.121-07:002015-04-08T22:12:44.121-07:00I've now written two glowing, poignient, movin...I've now written two glowing, poignient, moving and deeply touching comments which keep getting lost somehow. So - short and sweet: yes! Thank you. This. Is. How. It. Is. For. Us. <br />Hugs and high fives for us all. Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433007347948668964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-76997581975815022672015-04-08T21:12:17.972-07:002015-04-08T21:12:17.972-07:00Thank you for your honesty and words of realness! ...Thank you for your honesty and words of realness! You gave words to the emotions that all to often get bottled up. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14019844830027169311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-53050817498459721712015-04-08T20:36:17.177-07:002015-04-08T20:36:17.177-07:00EVERY SINGLE WORD. Signed, weary and worn Momma to...EVERY SINGLE WORD. Signed, weary and worn Momma to six beautiful blessings, 2 by birth and 4 by adoption and 5 with special needsLesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06879841384249644425noreply@blogger.com