tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post2575405678954251679..comments2023-06-25T01:21:49.003-07:00Comments on Home: a soft place to fall: What You Do With PeeUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-15784322201681049352011-02-23T13:43:53.951-08:002011-02-23T13:43:53.951-08:00Noelle, I got to a scary point,a month or two ago ...Noelle, I got to a scary point,a month or two ago (before Christmas) where I was just mad, grumpy, dreading getting up in the morning because that was exactly it..I was TRYING. SO. gosh, darn. HARD...and all it was doing was making it worse, daring the kids to be more stubborn. <br />I started reading A LOT. I can give you a list of my favorites... I had to take the applicable stuff that applied to my kids and leave the rest. <br />I started stalking Attachment blogs, and BAWLING seeing my self, and my kids in the words of these brave women.<br />The biggest thing is I had to was to get silly, loseing it was so counter productive, but the way I really felt (and still do most of the time)...but I started to see and watch my kids eyes when I would engage with them , instaed of difuse them. <br /><br />That night what calmed me, was I put my hand on my lil guys chest and it was beating 900 miles a minute...he was already so stressed and scared. When I am really, REALLY FRUSTRATED with my kids, I have found if a positive touch, soft hand to hand, pressure with your hand on their chests...can calm us both.<br /><br />If your oldest is anything like my 7 yr old... he pushes, pushes pushes...NON-STOP, and specifically YOU Mama.<br /><br />I had to change my brain. IT. IS. HARD (but things were already sucky & hard, it's like trying a "new" hard)...and I am better at it on somedays then others.<br />Trevor actually found the "Pee Sundae" first and came to me and said " I'm not in a good place, your gonna have to take this one."<br /><br />I love my Love and Logic Books, they work great for my bio kids, and some of the applications work for my kiddo's that struggle with attachment too.<br /><br />The BIGGEST thing that I took from the Love and Logic Books is that, consquinces DON'T have to be immediate. If I am feeling too worn down, and just can't deal with the child at the moment, I will tell them "don't you worry honey, this is a hard one, hmmm I might need to talk to Dad, or my freinds about this one and see what they think, we can get back to this when Mom is ready, but don't you worry about it." That has saved me those days when I am with out words or tools that would be productive for ANYONE...and all I really want to do is run away to Mexico.<br /><br />It is amazeing what nateral coniquences can arise when I have been able to back away from the situation.<br /><br />Hang in there. <br />It is so challenging and scary, my biggest fear is that I won't be able to give my kids all of these tools, and help them enough in time for them to know how to be safe, healthy HAPPY adults.<br /><br />BIG (((HUGS)) to you!<br />LindsayLindsay Mama to Ninehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14246028855946874766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-59139269339136373082011-02-22T22:34:47.757-08:002011-02-22T22:34:47.757-08:00So, tell me, how did you keep from just absolutely...So, tell me, how did you keep from just absolutely losing it. I need to come up with some other tactics, honestly. There are moments when I’m in compete tears trying to get through to our oldest.Noellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05494239753590843583noreply@blogger.com