tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post2316425085625026113..comments2023-06-25T01:21:49.003-07:00Comments on Home: a soft place to fall: It is what it is...and that is O.K.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-25240350137837875002012-08-20T01:17:50.318-07:002012-08-20T01:17:50.318-07:00The expectations of happy fun times together are t...The expectations of happy fun times together are the worst for mama, I think. I think when I've strived and saved and prepared for a wonderful treat for my son that the universe somehow sees that and will repay us with a few minutes of joy. But it doesn't work that way. Being in a crowd is a trigger. Being expected to be happy is a trigger, when he's always feeling sad and broken. Not changing his mind twelve times at the last minute is impossible. Mom's idea that we make a plan and decide, then stick to what we decided doesn't take into account that moment by moment, the life-threatening danger he feels all around him may necessitate rewriting the script. Thanks for this blog! It's helping me tremendously. I see now that so many of his things are from attachment disorder. It's helping me to feel things from his point of view, and react better. <br /><br />To share some things that have worked for us, in case they can be helpful to anyone else. He takes a beta blocker called Nadalol which controls his response to the adrenaline that is flooding his system at 5 to 10 times the normal level. That helps my son hugely. I took him to a cardiologist who put a 24 hour Holter monitor on him and discovered multiple tachycardia events and some arrhythmia events called PACs that were happening constantly that warranted the beta blocker. I don't want to drug him up, but I think it's appropriate to try to regulate the insane way his nervous system reacts to normal everyday events and makes him feel so much terror. <br /><br />My son is older now. I wish I had found all of you years ago. And one other thing we're doing that works is regular meditation. Here is the link to the series of videos in which it's all explained. The mind is very flexible and even adults can transform their experience of existence this way. I'm benefiting from it too. http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBCEA6CAE376D8BC1&feature=plcp So when they are adult enough to follow this plan, they really can take control back of their responses to the world. I think maybe these ideas could possibly be adapted to younger children just by altering the environment with Mom leading them in relaxation and meditation. Or maybe it can be a way for just mom to take more control of her reactions to all the chaos and stay calmer and happier. Tatianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14093572344825878310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-81816328924276565562011-04-13T10:19:34.662-07:002011-04-13T10:19:34.662-07:00im so glad that you got to attend her second perfo...im so glad that you got to attend her second performance and have a special dinner after, how nice for bugs to have that one on one time. what a sweet special girl, leaving the waitress a flower. lil angel :)robyncalgaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13594204112813740304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-78116178861077512832011-03-09T14:25:08.667-08:002011-03-09T14:25:08.667-08:00Glad to know that you were able to have a great ni...Glad to know that you were able to have a great night with one of your special kiddos...... It is also a great thing for BUG to just be a kid and enjoy her night and shine. We GET to parent out of the box....It may seem abnormal to others but it is just what the doctor ordered for us....And in the end our kids will heal faster, our family will run smoother --- everyone will be happier.Tripple familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17898418526882638934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-31442566579839710222011-03-09T09:49:54.840-08:002011-03-09T09:49:54.840-08:00Yes, that is hard to finally realize that things w...Yes, that is hard to finally realize that things won't be the way we had envisioned they would be ("normal", whatever that is)... but we have to make our new normal- and make sure the video camera is charged so that the parent who has to miss out on the event can watch it later on video!One Crowded Househttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06646904151810368442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-836394109152759629.post-17169435887830264802011-03-09T08:26:59.326-08:002011-03-09T08:26:59.326-08:00I laughed until my face hurt like only a RADical m...I laughed until my face hurt like only a RADical mama can, and I cried like only a RADical mama can, too. So glad we've found each other!! And so glad I finally got to see your beautiful face, too!Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444891084585965661noreply@blogger.com